Thursday, 26 August 2010

R.V. transcription I

The following text is the first of four transcripts taken from video footage of the D.I. Simon Ryzar. It is the only section where Ryzar is not reading A4 documents. This is the man in his natural element. The documents he is holding on the video footage have since been retrieved and match perfectly with transcripts II, III and IV.


“Right. It’s just the three cases we’re dealing with right?”



Clears voice

“So…the dead kid, the freak show and that merc bastard and that’s us then”

Lights a cigarette,

“I’d feel more relaxed if I could talk about those four clowns who put bubble bath in the park fountain. I’d never seen suds like it. I remember one of them was so drunk he was getting pushed around in a shopping trolley by the others.
We got them on CCTV chasing a guy dressed up like a giant rabbit. You can imagine the picture. A grown man dressed as fluffy the bunny legging it up a main street and being chased by a shopping trolley containing a drunk, propelled by another grown man wearing suspenders and high heals. One of them ran in to a lamp post. They caused utter havoc before they got arrested. We had to redirect traffic and it took the best part of a week to get the fountain working right again. They didn’t feel so clever when they woke up in prison cells mind you. One of them had lost control of his bowels overnight. He woke up behind bars, hung over and covered in his own shit. I bet his mother was proud.
They were all grown men as well. All had good jobs, they just went a bit crazy. That demon drink eh.
Anyway they got off pretty lightly. They paid for the damages so I suppose no real harm was done. Bruised egos and a few embarrassing photos.


“Ok, are we ready to roll?”

N.B.: The case of the man in the rabbit suit is not mentioned in any of the retrieved documents.