Train Of Thought

I walk in and out of the dream to safeguard my objectivity. Weighing the for and against after careful scrutiny and allowing judgement to forward a thesis. I'm a man of complex taste but I enjoy the simplicities of life. I find understanding and knowledge to be the paths to enlightenment. Something set rules obscure with their tyrannous nature. Yet understanding often makes us take a side. To understand a view it must be seen, to grasp the motive of a story it must be heard in its entirety yet how does one remain impartial? Some would tell you to look at both sides of the story and overlook the possibility of both sides being rooted in lies. Others would have you choose a side because they believe it is the right side and very often their blinkered minds are contagious. Then of course we have those who simply don't care. I know them all well because I have been one and all of them over time. I learned my lessons and discovered a golden rule: One must retain an open mind with every living day.

So my story is a tale of battle. The everyday fight to remain a free thinker. A chase of demons and a search for serenity. The burdens of hope and the turmoil of obligation. The perils of what is closing the options of what could be. It is the complex weaving of a simple outcome. It is a lesson on how to become the enemy.

Hell Had More Fury

Being born and bred in Stab City didn't stop Subject C from having the airs and graces of Lady Muck. This impetuous child grew and developed between tantrums and metal health institutions until she became a chameleon.

Hiding her insanities behind manners and a few concepts she had read out of selective books. She ventured out in to the world with morals on her tongue and naivety in her demeanour. She could fool the masses in to believing her integrity and charm those left over so as to get her way. Her psychosis however made it impossible to hold this façade indefinitely. After long periods of time in her presence her eyes would change and a chemical smell would come from her breath. She would start to curse and swear, scream then cry before going to a room to talk to herself. She could be seen on occasion in her night gown on the bonnet of a car driving at walking pace. Gripping the wipers she would be shouting at the driver that he should behave like a adult.

Excuse For A Human Being

Subject D was often described as an excuse for a human being by Subject C. This was due to the fact that Subject D drank himself in to a stupor before beating Subject D silly. He also had a magic trick that could make large amounts of money disappear without anyone knowing where the hell they had gotten to. Other of his talents were being able to send people from calm to fury in a record time. Boring people with a story he told them last time he saw them. Starting projects and never seeing them through and falling over drunk. His opinions came from news reports on television and out of the papers. He strongly believed that everyone should have a gun and that those who disagreed should be shot. This made his philosophy of life: If you can't beat em, shoot em!. He never came to shooting Subject C as she always hung about for a good beating.

One of his favourite stories was about an ex SS soldier he had met who had gone to a Jewish festivity with a Nazi flag, held it up for all to see and said: drink to my colours!. According to subject D he came out of this in one piece which pretty much tells you who the pacifists where at the party. He would talk of his times mixing with gangsters, of rioting with the police and brawling with anyone and everyone. He liked his own opinions, he liked forcing his ideas on to others and he liked saying: 'When your only tool is a hammer, every problem is a nail'.

Nocturnal Musings

Maybe I drifted in to uncharted territory, serenaded by a lunatics full moon and bustled by the winds of insanity. I never took it as destiny or fate, life just seems to turn out that way. The people you meet, the messages in dreams all seem to point in the same direction. The rotting roots won't hold you up so you keep moving. Following signs and looking for ways but the road is only as long as you are willing to walk. No streets are paved with gold and there always comes a time when you want to lay down new roots and have a feeling of home.

Envy And Actions

They want what you have. They want to be the best parts of you and what they can't have they thrive to destroy. Jealousy will never be a justified motive but it is never judged as a crime.

Mysterium

I walk through the asylum past those who make invisible beings their reason to live. How I pity their small damaged minds as they kneel before their ignorance and pray for absolution. Some were brainwashed from infancy, others became too weak to face the world and rushed to the brainwashed to find a reason to live. The fantasy spreads like a malignant lump in the bosom of motherhood destroying the very purpose of our being. Any universal code is lost in opinions and interpretations. Any positive progress towards a balanced existence is replaced by hearsay and the general acceptance of orders.
Madmen and idiots build towering monuments to glory their folly. They speak words of sharing and loving or destroying those who do not follow. They practice dictatorships founded on myth and only compromise at the threat of losing all power. History has shown the results of those who choose faith as their path yet we find ourselves once again ruled by the insane fantasies of dogma.

Yellow Belly

I used to think
I had the strength to resist
That I could use my words
Instead of my fists
But you find the buttons
And push them hard
I'm just a vistim of reactions
When it goes too far

And I think you got a taste of it

I'm the last to start a fight
But I'm the first to end it

And I think you got a taste of it

Don't try your luck son
You'll come out the worst for wear

I will kill you

It doesn't matter what you say
It doesn't matter what game you try to play
Once you hit upon the fury you're dead